Becoming District Leader in Sen Sok

I am sorry to say that the good investigator is no longer an investigator.  He called us and told us he had to stop because he could not follow Jesus Christ.  I know it is his family that is stopping him which really stinks.  I'm not going to lie I am confused because I received personal revelation and guidance, and as a result, I found him.  I think I told you that before I contacted him after we had lost several investigators, and I really prayed to find out where we should go the next day.  I felt very strongly that I had to go to a certain area, and as I was praying, I had one road that I had seen but never contacted people on come into my head. Again and again, it came to my mind with the same picture, the same place.  I knew I had to go there, and I knew we would find someone that day.  That is why it is so sad to lose him.  I honestly believe that someday he will be a member.  I pray and believe that we prepared him for the future.  He told us that he felt different when he started to learn.  He said he felt different in a way "that I cannot describe."  The Holy Ghost testified to him, and I believe someday he will join the church.

We were also able to serve some of our investigators this week – the same service as last time. We went and cut down sticks and wood for them so they can make a fire to cook their food and sell the wood others.  It was a really cloudy day, so it wasn't too hard. It was definitely a fun way to help them.  

Dinner anyone?

Well, I am in Sen Sok for another transfer.  Quite honestly, I thought I was leaving; pretty much everyone thought I was leaving.  But I got the call, and Elder Hem and I are together.  Also, they called me to be a district (a geographic grouping of missionaries) leader.  I have mixed feelings about that.  First off, I am excited because it is a new challenge, and I think it will be fun to go on exchanges with other missionaries and go into some other areas.  I am also a little nervous to teach district meetings.  The district leader teaches a lesson every week at district meeting.  I have some good ideas to make it not just a lecture, but where we discuss ideas and learn new ideas.  Quite honestly, the hardest thing is the fact that Elder Hem and I are together.  Before, Elder Hem was the senior companion.  And while we pretty much shared the responsibility, he was still technically the leader. I think it will be fine, but I am just afraid it will turn kind of strange.  I do not want him to feel like I am bossing him or anything, which I of course won’t do.  I am excited though.  I think it is going to be really fun, and I can definitely learn a lot.  

Nit is doing well, but at the same time, he needs to do better.  He has faith with his mouth, but now we need to see if he has faith with his actions.  He has learned everything, and he believes.  He knows how important everything is, but drinking is a part of his life, and it is hard for him to stop.  His job requires him to put together a lot of banquets and gatherings and obviously they drink a lot.  He does not have a wife.  That is one thing that he wants so badly - an eternal marriage and eternal family.  I am thankful for him, and I believe he will change.  He needs to show is faith and willing to stop drinking and to start coming to church every week.

A rat must have got into my package (from my parents) on the way here. It only got one thing though.

A Costco Outing and Pictures of Lin Zhen Miao's Baptism

So this week was a good week.  I hope I didn't sound unloving in my last email; my emotions were pretty high when I wrote it.  My feelings of sadness and frustration stem out of an extreme love for these two sisters and a complete sadness to see them miss out on all of the blessings that baptism brings.   

We met with Jiao Mei this week.  She is actually moving to her home town because she just graduated.  I have been in touch with the missionaries down there and have given them instructions to not give up on her no matter what.  We met with her one last time on Thursday.  I was so sad to see her go.  We talked how if she doesn't feel ready that is fine but to make plans to get ready and to keep studying and trying with the goal of becoming ready for baptism.   

Today, we went as a district to Costco.  It was so funny to be in something that is so similar yet is different at the same time.  In the meat section, they had sea cucumbers and squid.  My companion and I bought tortilla chips.  We are so excited; there really is nowhere else to buy tortilla chips in Taiwan except for Costco.  Mexican food is really the only food that you can't get here.  Sister Vandegrift and I then went to this sporting goods store that just opened up right by the church.  It looked so cool from the outside.  The inside just had a bunch of sporting goods equipment.  It was fun to look around though.   

We also had a really exciting thing this week.  We have started meeting with a young woman who was introduced to the gospel many years ago by her aunt but hasn't been able to get baptized until she turned 18 per an agreement with her parents.  She came up to me at church one Sunday and said that it is time for her to get baptized and that she needed to meet with us.  We, of course, were ecstatic. She is super great.  She is completely prepared and teaching her is just like a fun spiritual feast.  She might be getting baptized this week because her uncle (a member) is leaving to go out of town for a long time soon, and she wants him to baptize her, but she doesn't technically turn 18 until July.  She was supposed to ask her dad for his official permission last night so we should find out today in a little bit if it is ago.   


It has been so nice.  We met with her this week and her aunt (a member), and her aunt told us that the whole week everyone had been giving their two cents on her baptismal date.  Everyone is giving her all this pressure to be baptized earlier, but she is worried because she had already agreed with her dad to wait until she was 18.  It was so nice to not be the ones to give anyone pressure.   We were kind of like the sane ones being like, “Well, it is your decision.”  I think it is going to happen this week, but I don't want to assume anything yet.  If it doesn't, she will definitely get baptized just in a month from now.  
 

I love you all, and I know this church is true.  We should never be afraid to follow God and to follow the little promptings and warnings that the Lord puts into our hearts because the Holy Ghost truly is a still small voice of perfect mildness.  I love you all, and I know that this is God's church.  It is the most wonderful and happy thing in our lives.   

Poison by Pepto Bismol and Pictures of Devi and Heng's Baptism

I feel like I am at home right now because I am sitting in an internet cafe full of little Khmae gamer boys. They yell at each other in Khmae.  Tanner would like it.  Then the littler boys, who do not know how to play and just watch the others, keep coming over to look at my screen and realize it is much less exciting.  

A while ago, we had also received a great referral for a man used to learn from the Seven Day Adventist church.  We taught Nit the whole first lesson in 4 appointments because he understands so quickly and was so interested in learning more.  He has incredibly strong faith. The only thing holding him back is that he likes to drink beer.  It is not even an addiction; it is just a social thing that he likes to do.  It's kind of frustrating because he is so awesome. It’s just like, "Why don’t you just stop?" He is good though.  Nit has so much potential.  He used to be the "village chief.”  Which sounds weird, but every village or neighborhood has one.  He was a representative for one of the parties in the last election.  Like I said he is just an awesome guy with incredibly strong faith.  He recognizes that when he gets baptized, it is a lifelong decision.  He says that he wants to be completely ready to be baptized, so that afterwards he will have no problems.  I have fasted and prayed for this man many times.  He has been so prepared by Heavenly Father.  He feels sorry for his sins, and recognizes this is the true church.  He wants to be clean from his sins and live with Heavenly Father forever.  I really hope that this week we see a miracle, and he decides he is done drinking forever so that he can be baptized.  

About a week and a half ago I had to call Sister Smedley because I was worried about Elder Hem's health.  Elder Hem had eaten 6 tablets of Pepto Bismol in a matter of minutes because he thought they were candy mom had sent me.  We were riding our bikes, and he started to tell me he didn't feel that good and that he kind of felt light headed and stuff.  He then informed me that these candies were not very good.  I informed him that we usually eat 1 of those, maybe 2, if we are very sick.  The rest of the night he was fine, but he did not feel very good.  I thought it was funny.  I could not stop laughing.  They do not even taste good. 

I told you a few weeks ago about the older investigator who said she was done learning after 6 days because she saw no benefit, but then we committed her to learning for another 2 weeks.  She is doing awesome.  We meet her almost every day, and she is willing to meet us.  She comes to church and reads the scriptures.  I can see that Holy Ghost is working with her.  She understands clearly what we teach, and I believe she is feeling different.  This next week is the 2 week mark, and I know that she will not tell us that she wants to stop learning.  If we do what we should, the Holy Ghost will enter into our lives and make us feel happier and different.  I know that personally.

You guys needs to walk though a Cambodian market, which are outside of course.  There are huge slabs of meat with the person selling them just hacking pieces off for people.  Flies are everywhere.  Live fish are just being smacked on the head and thrown into another pile.  It is seriously a sight to see. 

I feel like my prayers have really changed.  All my prayers are focused on our investigators – helping them read, feel the Spirit, understand, come to church, etc. 

Campaigning for some type of election is starting here, and there are lots of posters and signs.  I tried to teach a lesson while a speaker blared a recording to an entire neighborhood about some political party.  It was a little weird.   

Yesterday we had a really good District Conference.  The topic was families.  It was a really powerful conference, and the speakers did a great job.  The coolest thought came from the District President: The reason why Satan wants to destroy families so badly is because he will never have one.  He will never have a mom, dad, wife, kids, etc.  He feels sad about that and wants everyone to feel the same way.  That is why families are under attack.  I saw Devi and her husband, Heng, at the District Conference (who got baptized after I was transferred out of Branch 2) and some of the other members from Branch 2.  I really miss them.  There are some great members in that branch.

The Hardest Part About Being a Missionary

I am sad to report that it looks like there will be no baptism this weekend.  Jiao Mei, after a long process, has decided that she needs to wait to be baptized.  It is quite sad as she really doesn't need to wait.  She has a testimony; she has a desire to be baptized; she has repented; she has a desire to follow Christ to the end – all of the requirements for baptism.  On Thursday, she told us that she had been talking to her dad who investigated the church for MANY years before finally being baptized.  He is also unfortunately less active now, but gratefully not antagonistic towards the church.  He just is prioritizing other things over it. He feels that she doesn't need to rush into baptism and has cited all of the preparation he did before finally deciding to be baptized (having read the whole book of Mormon and done a lot of study, etc.  She, who was already feeling nervous herself, was convinced.  Thankfully, she was willing to talk openly with us about it, and we encouraged her to have her baptismal interview on Sunday and then decide. She agreed to do so.   

She had her baptismal interview and passed it with flying colors.  She came out saying that Elder George said the same things that we have said – that she doesn't need to know everything, she doesn't need to finish the Book of Mormon, that she needs to believe and have a desire and she doesn't need to wait for this some unknown time of "readiness" – a readiness that is not described in the scriptures.  We talked the issue up and down, and she talked to members about it who also encouraged her by saying that Satan often gives us temptation and trails before we make an important decision etc.  In the end, she decided that she will not get baptized this weekend.  What scares me is that she doesn't have a plan for how to become prepared for baptism in the future; she just doesn't feel ready. But she can't even say way she isn't ready.  It terrifies me that she will just float outside of the gate with nothing but fear blocking the gate.  There is a difference between knowing that you need additional preparation and then taking the action to complete that and just not feeling ready and not having a plan or a commitment to make yourself ready.  

I am trying to have faith, but I am having a really hard time with this.  I just don't understand why this keeps happening.  I don't understand why these people that I teach who have learned everything they need to learn, who believe and have a testimony in everything they need to have a testimony of, who have committed to baptism, and who openly tell you that they desire baptism, will, at the last minute, push it aside. They push it aside to wait for some unknown date that unless chosen and acted upon with faith will never come.  Both Shu-feng and Jiao Mei decided to be baptized and wanted to work towards it.  I didn't push the date of the 16th on Jiao Mei; that was the date she herself chose.  And I see what has happened to Shu-feng since making the decision not to be baptized right now.  She is swimming around, wanting to improve, but never acknowledging the absolute inevitability of the Savior in that improvement.  

How can we look at the Savior's atonement with its magnitude and mercy and just push it aside because it is not convenient to follow his commandments?  Covenants are not convenient and they are not easy, but neither was Jesus atoning for our sins.  I don't say this out of a lack of compassion or love for these two girls; I just feel such extreme sadness at their lack of understating of the Savior's atonement, and I feel inadequate as their teacher because in the end, they are just content to float around waiting to be acted upon rather than to act. 

I love Jiao Mei with all of my heart, and I am terrified from her response that this will be a digression point, not a launching point like it was for someone like Chen Ming Zhu who felt she needed to prepare more for baptism but had a plan and acted.  Jiao Mei, in my opinion and in the authoritative decision of the baptismal interviewer, is prepared, and the only thing that is keeping her from being fully prepared is actually making the decision to take the leap of faith to be baptized.  I am trying to have faith in the future, but I am having a really hard time with this right now.